Momwe mungadzikhulupirire nokha ndi kukhulupirira ena

Chikhulupiriro chimayambira pafupi kuposa momwe timaganizira

Nthawi zambiri timalankhula za chikhulupiriro ngati chinthu chimene chimachitika pakati pa anthu. Mumakhulupirira bwenzi ndi chinsinsi, mnansi ndi kiyi, mnzanu wa kuntchito ndi ntchito. Komabe pali chikhulupiriro china chabata chimene chimabwera choyamba: kukhulupirira mawu anu omwe.

Mukamadziwa zimene mukumva ndi zimene mukufuna, n'kosavuta kuzinena momveka. Mukapanda kudziwa, mumazengereza, mumaganizira zimene ena akuyembekezera, ndi kukonzekera zoipitsitsa. Anthu ambiri amadziwa izi pa masiku wamba: mumavomera kanthu pa kukambirana, ndipo pambuyo pake mumazindikira kuti simunafune.

Kukhulupirira ena kumapangidwa kwakukulu ndi zinthu zomwezo monga kudzikhulupirira. Zonse zimakula mukamamvetsera, mukakhala oona mtima ndi mukasunga mawu anu.

Kudzimvetsera kumafuna kuima kamphindi

Tsiku lambiri timangoyankha zinthu. Mauthenga amafika, masiku omaliza a ntchito amayandikira, msewu uli ndi phokoso. Maganizo amathamanga kuposa momwe tingawasankhire, choncho timatsatira lomwe lili ndi mawu okweza kwambiri. Kusankha kumayamba ndi kuima kamphindi.

Kupuma ndiko kuima kosavuta kwambiri. Sikufuna ndalama, sikufuna zipangizo kapena kukonzekera. Kafukufuku wina amalumikiza kupuma pang'onopang'ono ndi kumva bata, ndipo anthu ambiri amafotokoza motero. Sitilonjeza zotsatira. Tikungonena kuti kupuma pang'onopang'ono ndi malo ang'onoang'ono oimirapo ndi kudzifunsa: ndili bwanji, kwenikweni?

Kuima kumakulolani kuzindikira zizindikiro zazing'ono: kulimba kwa mapewa, kayendedwe ka mpweya wanu, maganizo amene mumapitiriza kuwakankha kutali. Tikamathamanga, zonsezi zimakhala zosaonekera.

Mu mphindi imodzi ya bata mungathe:

• kuzindikira zimene mukumva, osafulumira kuzikonza
• kutchula chinthu chimodzi chimene mumachithokoza
• kupanga chisankho chimodzi chaching'ono chomwe ndi chanu kwenikweni
• kubwerera ku tsiku lanu mukuona bwino pang'ono, monga momwe anthu ambiri amafotokozera

Kuthokoza kumakuthandizani kudalira zimene muli nazo

Mu kafukufuku wodziwika wa 2003, ofufuza Emmons ndi McCullough anayang'ana anthu amene nthawi zonse ankalemba zimene amathokoza. Anthu amenewa nthawi zambiri ananena kuti amamva bwino kuposa magulu oyerekezera. Ntchitoyi inafalitsidwa mu Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

Kuthokoza kumatembenuza chidwi chanu ku zinthu zimene zili kale zokhazikika m'moyo wanu, ndipo n'kosavuta kutsamira pa chokhazikika. Imeneyi ndi njira imodzi imene kudzikhulupirira kungakulire: mumazindikira kuti mwapatsidwa zambiri kuposa momwe munawerengera.

Kuchoka pa kudzikhulupirira kupita ku kukhulupirira ena

Mukamamva kukhazikika, anthu ena amaoneka mosiyana. Mumamvetsera kwambiri ndi kudziteteza pang'ono. Izi zili ndi tanthauzo, chifukwa kukhulupirirana pakati pa anthu nthawi zambiri kumakhala kochepa ndipo ambiri amakhala okha. Malinga ndi Komiti ya WHO Yoona za Ubale wa Anthu (WHO Commission on Social Connection, 2025), munthu mmodzi mwa anthu asanu ndi mmodzi alionse padziko lapansi amasungulumwa.

Palinso maziko olimba omangapo. Anthu awiri aliwonse amagawana pafupifupi 99.9 peresenti ya DNA yawo, mawu amene mabungwe ofufuza za DNA ya anthu amawabwereza kwambiri. Padziko lapansi pali anthu pafupifupi mabiliyoni 8, ndipo tikufanana kwambiri kuposa momwe timaonekera tikatsutsana.

Kuchita zinthu mogwirizana ndi ena kumaoneka kuthandizanso. Mu kafukufuku wa Wiltermuth ndi Heath (Psychological Science, 2009), anthu amene anachita zinthu mogwirizana, mwachitsanzo poyenda kapena kuimba, pambuyo pake anali okonzeka kwambiri kugwirizana, kuphatikizapo ndi anthu osawadziwa. Mphindi ya pa 11:11 si kuyesa, koma ili ndi lingaliro lomwelo losavuta: anthu ambiri akuchita chinthu chimodzi chabata pa nthawi imodzi.